Friday, July 31, 2009
Dear Class of 2010,
This will be my last entry written specifically for you; beginning with the launch of our new site in early September, I'll begin focusing on the future class of 2011. I hope that you guys won't be strangers; stay in touch either in person (come visit us!) or online (please drop by the blogs from time to time and say hi).
As you begin your college experience, and I prepare for my 10-year college reunion, I thought I'd leave you with the things that, in retrospect, I think are important as you navigate the next four years. I hope that some of them are helpful.
1. Your friends will change a lot over the next four years. Let them.
2. Call someone you love back home a few times a week, even if just for a few minutes.
3. In college more than ever before, songs will attach themselves to memories. Every month or two, make a mix cd, mp3 folder, whatever - just make sure you keep copies of these songs. Ten years out, they'll be as effective as a journal in taking you back to your favorite moments.
4. Take naps in the middle of the afternoon with reckless abandon.
5. Adjust your schedule around when you are most productive and creative. If you're nocturnal and do your best work late at night, embrace that. It may be the only time in your life when you can.
6. If you write your best papers the night before they are due, don't let people tell you that you "should be more organized" or that you "should plan better." Different things work for different people. Personally, I worked best under pressure - so I always procrastinated... and always kicked ass (which annoyed my friends to no end). ;-) Use the freedom that comes with not having grades first semester to experiment and see what works best for you.
7. At least a few times in your college career, do something fun and irresponsible when you should be studying. The night before my freshman year psych final, my roommate somehow scored front row seats to the Indigo Girls at a venue 2 hours away. I didn't do so well on the final, but I haven't thought about psych since 1993. I've thought about the experience of going to that show (with the guy who is now my son's godfather) at least once a month ever since.
8. Become friends with your favorite professors. Recognize that they can learn from you too - in fact, that's part of the reason they chose to be professors.
9. Carve out an hour every single day to be alone. (Sleeping doesn't count.)
10. Go on dates. Don't feel like every date has to turn into a relationship.
11. Don't date someone your roommate has been in a relationship with.
12. When your friends' parents visit, include them. You'll get free food, etc., and you'll help them to feel like they're cool, hangin' with the hip college kids.
13. In the first month of college, send a hand-written letter to someone who made college possible for you and describe your adventures thus far. It will mean a lot to him/her now, and it will mean a lot to you in ten years when he/she shows it to you.
14. Embrace the differences between you and your classmates. Always be asking yourself, "what can I learn from this person?" More of your education will come from this than from any classroom.
15. All-nighters are entirely overrated.
16. For those of you who have come to college in a long-distance relationship with someone from high school: despite what many will tell you, it can work. The key is to not let your relationship interfere with your college experience. If you don't want to date anyone else, that's totally fine! What's not fine, however, is missing out on a lot of defining experiences because you're on the phone with your boyfriend/girlfriend for three hours every day.
17. Working things out between friends is best done in person, not over email. (IM does not count as "in person.") Often someone's facial expressions will tell you more than his/her words.
18. Take risks.
19. Don't be afraid of (or excited by) the co-ed bathrooms. The thrill is over in about 2 seconds.
20. Wednesday is the middle of the week; therefore on wednesday night the week is more than half over. You should celebrate accordingly. (It makes thursday and friday a lot more fun.)
21. Welcome failure into your lives. It's how we grow. What matters is not that you failed, but that you recovered.
22. Take some classes that have nothing to do with your major(s), purely for the fun of it.
23. It's important to think about the future, but it's more important to be present in the now. You won't get the most out of college if you think of it as a stepping stone.
24. When you're living on a college campus with 400 things going on every second of every day, watching TV is pretty much a waste of your time and a waste of your parents' money. If you're going to watch, watch with friends so at least you can call it a "valuable social experience."
25. Don't be afraid to fall in love. When it happens, don't take it for granted. Celebrate it, but don't let it define your college experience.
26. Much of the time you once had for pleasure reading is going to disappear. Keep a list of the books you would have read had you had the time, so that you can start reading them when you graduate.
27. Things that seem like the end of the world really do become funny with a little time and distance. Knowing this, forget the embarassment and skip to the good part.
28. Every once in awhile, there will come an especially powerful moment when you can actually feel that an experience has changed who you are. Embrace these, even if they are painful.
29. No matter what your political or religious beliefs, be open-minded. You're going to be challenged over the next four years in ways you can't imagine, across all fronts. You can't learn if you're closed off.
30. If you need to get a job, find something that you actually enjoy. Just because it's work doesn't mean it has to suck.
31. Don't always lead. It's good to follow sometimes.
32. Take a lot of pictures. One of my major regrets in life is that I didn't take more pictures in college. My excuse was the cost of film and processing. Digital cameras are cheap and you have plenty of hard drive space, so you have no excuse.
33. Your health and safety are more important than anything.
34. Ask for help. Often.
35. Half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at any given moment. Way more than half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at some point in the next four years. Get used to it.
36. In ten years very few of you will look as good as you do right now, so secretly revel in how hot you are before it's too late.
37. In the long run, where you go to college doesn't matter as much as what you do with the opportunities you're given there. The MIT name on your resume won't mean much if that's the only thing on your resume. As a student here, you will have access to a variety of unique opportunities that no one else will ever have - don't waste them.
38. On the flip side, don't try to do everything. Balance = well-being.
39. Make perspective a priority. If you're too close to something to have good perspective, rely on your friends to help you.
40. Eat badly sometimes. It's the last time in your life when you can do this without feeling guilty about it.
41. Make a complete ass of yourself at least once, preferably more. It builds character.
42. Wash your sheets more than once a year. Trust me on this one.
43. If you are in a relationship and none of your friends want to hang out with you and your significant other, pay attention. They usually know better than you do.
44. Don't be afraid of the weird pizza topping combinations that your new friend from across the country loves. Some of the truly awful ones actually taste pretty good. Expand your horizons.
45. Explore the campus thoroughly. Don't get caught.
46. Life is too short to stick with a course of study that you're no longer excited about. Switch, even if it complicates things.
47. Tattoos are permanent. Be very certain.
48. Don't make fun of prefrosh. That was you like 2 hours ago.
49. Enjoy every second of the next four years. It is impossible to describe how quickly they pass.
50. This is the only time in your lives when your only real responsibility is to learn. Try to remember how lucky you are every day.
Be yourself. Create. Inspire, and be inspired. Grow. Laugh. Learn. Love.
Welcome to some of the best years of your lives.
Always Follow Your Dreams
There were once 2 brothers who lived on the 80th level. On coming home one day, they realized to their dismay that the lifts were not working and that they have to climb the stairs to get home.
After struggling to the 20th level, panting and tired, they decided to abandon their bags and come back for them the next day. They left their bags there and climbed on. When they had struggled up to the 40th level, the younger brother started to grumble and both of them began to quarrel. They continued to climb the flights of steps, quarreling all the way to the 60th floor.
They then realized that they have only 20 levels more to climb and decided to stop quarreling and continue climbing in peace. They silently climbed on and reached their home at last. Each stood calmly before the door and waited for the other to open the door.
And then they realized that the key was in one of their bags which they had left on the 20th floor.
This story reflects on our life...many of us have to live up to the expectations of our parents, teachers and friends when young. We seldom get to do the things that we really love and are under so much pressure that by the age of 20, we get tired and decide to dump the load.
Being free of the stress and pressure, we work enthusiastically and dream big.
But by the time we reach 40, we start to losing our vision and dreams. We begin to feel unsatisfied and start to complain and criticize. We live life as a misery as we are never satisfied. Reaching 60, we realize that we have little time left to complain, and we begin to walk the final episode in peace and calmness.
We think that there is nothing left to disappoint us, only to realize that we cannot rest in peace because we have an unfulfilled dream ...... a dream that we abandoned 60 years ago.
So what is your dream? Follow your dreams, so that you will not live with regrets.
Because Life is a journey which is traveled only once...
Thursday, July 30, 2009
The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.
Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.
In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a
small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met
with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor.
Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading
She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
Send this page to a woman. It's Priceless!!!!!!!!
And a man so that he understands the value of a woman
Tell me if this is wrong!!!...
A Harvard scholar, Mr. Sean Goldstein approaches a learned
> Rabbi telling him that he has a Doctorate in philosophy, and
> would now like to learn the Talmud to round off or complete
> his knowledge. After summing him up for a few minutes, the
> Rabbi told him " I seriously doubt that you are ready
> to study Talmud. Its the deepest book of our people. If you
> wish however I am willing to examine you in logic, and if
> you pass the test I will teach you Talmud. "
> The young man agrees. Rabbi holds up two fingers " Two
> men come down a chimney. One comes with a clean face and the
> other comes out with a dirty face. Which one washes his
> The young man stares at the Rabbi. " Is that a test in
> The Rabbi nods.
> " The one with the dirty face washes his face" He
> answers wearily.
> " Wrong. The one with the clean face washes his face.
> Examine the simple logic. The one with the dirty face looks
> at the one with theclean face and thinks his face is clean.
> The one with the clean face looks at the one with the dirty
> face and thinks his face is dirty. So the one with the clean
> face washes his face."
> "Very clever" Says Goldstein. . " Give me
> another test."
> The Rabbi again holds up two fingers " Two men come
> down a chimney. One comes out with a clean face and the
> other comes out with a dirty face. which one washes his
> " We have already established that. The one with the
> clean face washes his face"
> " Wrong. Each one washes his face. Examine the simple
> logic. The one with the dirty face looks at the one with the
> clean face and thinks his face is clean. The one with the
> clean face looks at the one with the dirty face and thinks
> his face is dirty. So the one with the clean face washes his
> face. When the one with the dirty face sees the one with the
> clean face washing his face, he also washes his face. So
> each one washes his face"
> " I didn't think of that! " Says Goldstein.
> " Its shocking to me that I could make an error in
> logic. Test me again!."
> The Rabbi holds up two fingers " Two men come down a
> chimney. One comes out with a clean face and the other comes
> out with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?
> " Each one washes his face"
> " Wrong. Neither one washes his face. Examine the simple logic.. The one with the dirty face looks at the one
> with the clean face andthinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face looks at the one with the dirty face and
> thinks his face is dirty. But when the one with clean face
> sees that the one with the dirty face doesn't wash his
> face, he also doesn't wash his face So neither one
> washes his face"
> Goldstein is desperate. " I am qualified to study Talmud. Please give me one more test"
> He groans when the Rabbi lifts his two fingers "Two
> men come down a chimney. One comes out with a clean face and
> the other comes out with
> a dirty face. Which one washes his face?
> " Neither one washes his face"
> " Wrong. Do you now see, Sean, why Socrates logic is
> an insufficient basis for studying the Talmud? Tell me, how
> is it possible for two men to come down the same chimney,
> and for one to come out with a clean face and the other with
> a dirty face? Dont you see? The whole question is narishkeit
> - foolishness - and if you spend your life trying to answers
> foolish questions, all your answers will be foolish."
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up
Jack's mini van and headed north.
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.
So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who
answered the door if they could spend the night.
'I realize its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house
all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid
the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.'
'Don't worry,' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if
the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed,
and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.
They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an
attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally
determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he
had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you remember that
good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up
north about 9 months ago?'
'Yes, I do.' Said Bob.
'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to
the house and pay her a visit?'
'Well, um, yes!,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found
out, 'I have to admit that I did.'
'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'
Bob's face turned beet red and he said,
'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'
'She just died and left me all her properties.'
And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you? ..... I know, you smiled...now keep that smile for the rest of the day!
WORTH READING !!
PLEASE REMEMBER THIS…WORK IS IMPORTANT BUT NOT AND NEVER MORE THAN GOD, HEALTH , FAMILY AND FREINDS……SO IF SOME OF U ARE WORKA HOLICS OR THINK THAT U ARE IMPORTANT TO WORK……U ARE SO NOT LIVING UR LIFE THE RIGHT WAY…. … REORGANISE UR LIFE…..
WORK COMES AND GOES , LIFE DOESN'T……
The man replied, 'Yes sir, I did.' The robber then shot him in the temper , killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, 'Did you see me rob this bank?'
The man replied, 'No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!'
Moral: When Opportunity knocks.... MAKE USE OF IT !!!! :D :D
Just SMS, RTO followed by registration no. (Example: RTO KA-05-MR-7678) to 56006.
This will be very useful in hit & run cases. Pass it on to as many people you know
This works well for Karnataka (KA) registered vehicles.
SMS charge will be Rs. 1
Really Nice :)
Once a Junior School teacher asked her students to bring some potatoes
in a plastic bag to school. Each potato will be given a name of the
person whom that child hates.
Like this the number of potatoes will be equal to the number of persons
they hate. On a decided day the children brought their potatoes well
addressed. Some had two, some had three and some had even five
potatoes. The teacher said they have to carry these potatoes with them
everywhere they go for a week.
As the days passed the children started to complain about the spoiled
smell that started coming from these potatoes. Also some students who
had many potatoes complained that it was very heavy to carry them all
around. The children got rid of this assignment after a week when it
The teacher asked, "How did you feel in this one week?" The children
discussed their problems about the smell and weight. Then the teacher
said, "This situation is very similar to what you carry in your heart
when you don't like some people.
This hatred makes your heart unhealthy and you carry that hatred in your
heart everywhere you go. If you can not bear the smell of spoiled
potatoes for a week, imagine the impact of this hatred that you carry
through out your life, on your heart?"
MORALE: Our heart is a beautiful garden that needs a regular cleaning of
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
As the Amazing Eileen took to the stage, she announced, ''Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.''
The excitement was almost electric as the Amazing Eileen withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from her coat.
''I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. Its been in my family for six generations.''
She began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, ''Watch the watch , watch the watch, watch the watch.... ''.
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
''sh*t'' said the hypnotist.
It took three weeks to clean up the theatre....
Friday, July 10, 2009
This is a rare photo of Balaji...... only few people have actually seen this photograph before. Send this to atleast 14 people within 5 minutes of receiving this mail to have a good time for the rest of your life...Believe me this is true... I tried it and got instant results. Nothing will happen if you do not send it to anyone. But I can bet that you will forward this to all of your friends.
Iyengar Boy - "Mom, I've decided to get married."
The Seshadhris were only too ecstatic to hear these words pop out of
their elder son's mouth, yet afraid at the same time. After all, their son did
study in the United States for 3 years and from what they heard from
their neighbors, the States "do things" to perfectly normal sons. What if he
wanted to marry a white girl? The blasphemy! How would they ever explain
to their relatives?
"Indian no?" Mrs. Seshadhri asked, nervously.
"Oh thank god! Chamathu da nee. We'll see the girl tomorrow! And I'll
have to call all our relatives to inform them. Ha! First I'll call your
Her son went to the states and ended up with one of those...Punjabi a?
Ya, Punjabi-o ennavo. But my son? Chamatha Iyengar ponnu paathutaan."
"What? I know I'm getting excited but it's not everyday your son gets
married! First ponnu paakanum. Give me her address."
"I can't give the girl's address."
"Why not? "interrupted Mr.Seshadhri. "Is it because they don't know its
okay, we'll convince them"
"No, it's because there is no girl"
"Ennada solrey?" chorused the parents.
"I am in love with an Iyengar, yes. But it's not a girl. It's a boy"
"Is this some kind of TV show? Is some shanniyan going to come with a
camera and say all this is some joke? I know! Vijay TV-la Simbhu is
doing something like this. He's going to come now, isn't he?"
"No mom, nobody's behind your almirah. This is real. I want to get
married to him and him only"
"This is not normal, you know that?"
"Appa, who're you to say that it's not normal? How do you know that it
isn't normal? I want to get married to him and that's the end of it" and
he stormed out of the room.
The Seshadhris were appalled, and did what any other parents would do
when presented with such a private confession. They called the entire family
over to discuss it.
Mamas, Mamis, Thathas, Paatis, Chithappas, Chiththis, Aththais,
Athimbers, Perippas, Perimmas and a motley crew of cousins promptly assembled to
exchange their views over filter coffee and masala vadais.
"Enna kodumai Seshadri idhu"
"This is not the time to joke; it's a very serious issue pa. Namma
community-la this is just not done"
"Are you sure about this? I mean was he joking?"
"Will anybody joke about things like this? Avan serious-a dhaan irukaan.
"Amma Amma, what's a gay?" interrupted 6 year old Achu, loudly.
"Sshhh, Achu. Go play outside with Kichu." said his visibly embarrassed
Achu promptly ran outside hollering KICHU! GAY-NA BAD WORD DA!
"Yea. I'm hoping he gets a girlfriend soon."
"Shree, he's 6"
"The earlier the better. And I'm so not sending him to the US"
"Not everyone turns out like that. My son married a perfectly nice girl.
Enna, she's Punjabi. But very nice girl."
"You know she has a beard, right?"
"Oh please! At least she's a girl."
"Enough enough. This is not about her daughter-in-law's beard. Idhu
konjam serious-aana matter."
"Yes yes. There are so many fundamental complications Like if this
marriage does go on, who gets to be the Maapla veedu?"
"Chechu make it clear to them that we will be the groom's house. We will
demand our rights"
"Hey, who gets to tie the thaali?"
"Will there even be a thaali?"
"Maybe they'll tie a golden poonal around him"
"One more doubt. The girl usually sits on her father lap when they tie
the thaali. Does this mean that the son sits on his mothers lap? How does
that work exactly?"
"Yea! And then usually the girl wears that special koora-podavai before
she ties the knot. Do we have to get this guy a koora-veshti?"
"Atleast you'll save on all those silk saris."
"And that Mehndi thing. Unless your son wants it, of course"
"Hahahaha! Thats so g...nothing"
An uncomfortable silence followed, but was swiftly interrupted by the
"Come to think of it, that golden poonal will weigh a lot"
"Does your future...err son-in-law cook?"
"Aiyo! Don't call him son-in-law! I don't even want this to happen!"
"Maybe you should do that. Vidaatha. Then he'll come around"
"No way, then he'd elope. Odi poyiduvaan!"
"Thats not good for the family name."
"Thu! As if marrying a boy is very honorable."
"And besides, eloping-na, usually the girl runs away, gets a baby and
then only gets accepted back in the household. This is how it is in all Tamil
"Ok, but how the heck is these guys going to get a baby?"
"My point exactly, so they won't elope"
"Which is worse. What if they get together like those villains in
"Aiyo! That's a movie about homosexual psychopaths! You're son is too
sensitive for that. He cried in the climax of Kabhi Khushi Kahi Gham,
for heaven's sake!"
"Appovve we should have noticed..."
"You think there's some kind of homeopathy treatment for this? Or
Ayurveda? Some kashayam or something?"
"No no, it's a state of mind. No kashayam can cure it"
"Or should we send him to a psychiatrist?"
"Illa. Those psychiatrists are Peter parties. They'll end up
brainwashing us about how we are educated and must accept him the way he is"
"Adhaan pannanum" said Mr.Seshadhri, finally.
The entire household went mute.
"You mean...we have to get him married? To that...that boy?"
"Only then, he'll be happy."
"Aiyo sentiment thaangamudiyila"
"My decision is final. I'll go call him and find that other boy's
number. I have plenty to talk to his parents."
The household watched him go with a rather stern resolve in absolute
silence. The only sound was the jowku-jowku of Paati eating Vadai.
"Enna paati? What do you think?" said one of the cousins, finally
breaking yet another uncomfortable silence.
"Ennadhaan payyana love pannaalum, atleast Iyengar payyana paathu love
pannane, adhuve porum."
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
*Three Malayali Couples in a Restaurant….**
Couple 1 : Husband: "aa sugar ingeduthe Panjare…." *
*Couple 2 : Husband: "aa liver ingeduthe Karale…......"
Upon hearing the above conversation, the third couple started……. *
*Couple 3: Wife : kandille manushya, avarudeyokke sneham. Angane venam bharthakkanmar aayal! *
*Couple 3: Husband : aa beef ingeduthe Pothe..!!! *
Monday, July 6, 2009
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous
pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW 7 Series advanced
out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Bryony suit, Gucci shoes, Cartier
sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell you
exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd,
Will you give me a calf?'
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully
grazing herd and calmly answers, 'Sure, Why not?'
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his HP notebook computer, connects
it to his Nokia N95 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his
location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the
area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and
exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany ..
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image
has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL
database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-Tech
Miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and
says, 'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.'
'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused
as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the Bud says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly what
your business is, will you give me back my calf?'
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says,
'Okay, why not?'
'You're an IT Consultant', says Bud.
'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'but how did you guess that?'
'No guessing required.' answered the cowboy. 'You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter
than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd
of sheep. . .'
''Now give me back my dog" J
Friday, July 3, 2009
> Laloo Prasad Yadav talks to his son.
> Laloo: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
> Son: "I want to choose my own bride".
> Laloo: "But the girl is Ambani's daughter."
> Son: "Well, in that case...... Yes"
> Next Laloo approaches Mukesh Ambani
> Laloo: "I have a husband for your daughter."
> Ambani: "But my daughter is too young to marry."
> Laloo: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
> Ambani: "Ah, in that case.....Yes"
> Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the World Bank.
> Laloo : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
> President:"But I already have more vice-presidents than I need."
> Laloo: "But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law."
> President: "Ah, in that case.......Yes."
> This is how business is done!!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.
SCENE: The Oval Office. George Bush and Condolezza Rice.
George: Condi! Nice to see you? What''s happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Let's hear it.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I''m asking you? Who is the new leader of China?
George: I mean the fellow's name.
George: The guy in China.
George: The new leader of China.
George: The Chinese?
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya?asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well,I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That''s the man's name.
George: That's whose name?
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes sir.
George: Yassir? You mean arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. On the phone. I bet he knows.
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
George: No, milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: Call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N .?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: and stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N!
George: all right! Light with sugar. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too.