Monday, December 22, 2008

To all sick Indians who keep on blabbering about the Poor state of Our Country....How It's never goin to improve...(Other's Please Ignore this message)

 The President of India DR. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam's Speech in Hyderabad.

Why is the media here so negative?
Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our
achievements? We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success
stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?
We are the first in milk production.
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.
Look at Dr. Sudarshan, he has transferred the tribal village into a
self-sustaining, self-driving unit. There are millions of such achievements
but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters.
I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the
day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The
Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a
Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert into an
orchid and a granary.
It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of
killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among
other news.

In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime. Why are we
so NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with
foreign things? We want foreign T. Vs, we want foreign shirts. We want
foreign technology.

Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that
self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this
lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her
what her goal in life is. She replied: I want to live in a developed India.
For her, you and I will have to build this developed India. You must
proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed
nation. Do you have 10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance.

Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice is
YOU say that our government is inefficient.
YOU say that our laws are too old.
YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.
YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke,
The airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination.
YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.

YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it?
Take a person on his way to Singapore. Give him a name - YOURS. Give him a
face - YOURS. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International
best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in
the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground links as they are. You
pay $5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim
Causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the
parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a
restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity... In
Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn't dare to eat in
public during Ramadan, in Dubai. YOU would not dare to go out without your
head covered in Jeddah. YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the
telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds (Rs.650) a month to, 'see to it
that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else.'YOU would not dare to
speed beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop,
'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son.
Take your two bucks and get lost.' YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut
shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and
New Zealand.
Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo? Why don't YOU use
examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston??? We are still
talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign
system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers
and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. If you can
be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country, why cannot you
be the same here in India?

Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay, Mr.
Tinaikar, had a point to make. 'Rich people's dogs are walked on the
streets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,' he said.
'And then the same people turn around to criticize and blame the
authorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect the
officers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels the
pressure in his bowels?
In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job.
Same in Japan. Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right. We go to
the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility.
We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do
everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect
the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage
all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of
paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean
bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms.

We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and
toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity.
This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to
the public. When it comes to burning social issues like those related to
women, dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room
protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? 'It's the
whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my
sons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system?
What does a system consist of ? Very conveniently for us it consists of our
neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and the
government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us actually
making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with
our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far
away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a
majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the country and run away.
Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their
glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to
England. When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out
to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and
brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape
the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is
mortgaged to money.

Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great
deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too.... I am echoing J.
F. Kennedy's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians.....


Lets do what India needs from us.

Forward this mail to each Indian for a change instead of sending Jokes or
junk mails.

Thank you,

Dr. Abdul Kalaam

Thursday, December 18, 2008

video : Simpsons GoodFellas

Education And The Future of Technology:: did you know???

Funny Thing Called SMS :: MUST READ

This ones' really funny.. read thruuu.. :D

Funny Thing Called SMS


Hi This is Bobby Koshy Varghese Reporting Yet Again From God's Own Country.

This thing happened when I was in  One of those Beautiful, vibrant, enigmatic , euphoric , sentimental, romantic ,  magnanimous n buoyant college days.  Mobile phones Where Usurping every Jeans Pocket In the College. On My End Its as Usual  as to grab any new Trend that's at the gates of the campus. So there I was in front  of all  the mobile stores in the town in search of the so called "Cant- BEAT- my-Phone " sort of Phone. Keeping In My Mind the Serious scarcity for money I tried to negotiate Between Style and the golden Bucks I managed to sneak from Dad on my last trip to Home.

Finally I got Hold Of one Which was really cool and which was a fair compromise between my likings and my budget.Anyway I ensured that it would impress everyone.

     On the days that followed the whole campus started twinkling with Mobile Phone Mania. People got Phones Which were more impressive than that of mine. This is what u call as Getting Outdated. And Hence Forth Came the Great Era of SMSs. Coz making calls wont suffice the monthly Pocket Money That arrived from Home. I used to wonder How many SMSs ld b flying across the skies of our campus. So much so that they could cause air traffic Problems.


SMS (if U dont know ) fall into 8 different catogories. They are:-


1.Love Messages( Couples Sending it to each other. 24X7 service and forms the Bulk of the Lot)

2Friendship messages( The Solace of the commoner. This comes with the relief that someone is there to think of u )

3.Group messages(Cheapest of the lot and the most widely exploited)

4.Forwards(U do it coz u r frustrated since u don recieve any and hence in expectation of recieving a reply or another forward)

5.Airtel,Hutch, Idea Offers(Sometimes Very Useful, at times it will rib ur brain)

6.Informational Messages(Like The Ones U recieve from ur class Rep Saying that the class test is postponed)

7.Personal Messages(Eg: "Hows U? Hows Life?" Though U met her Before leaving college,that particular Evening, u just cant resist the crush)

8.AnonyMousMessages(The Most Interesting as well as the Most DANGEROUS of the SMS genere)


Since I din fall into the first 7 catogories and GOD's will was that i must fall into the Eighth, I started recieving a set of highly interesting Anonymous Messages on a beautiful december evening. I welcome U all to the series of SMS messages that i shared with my Anonymous Messenger...!!!



AnonyMous(A): Hi Bobby.... Hws U?:-)


Me(M):-  Hi I m 5ne. May I kno Who dis is …?


A:- I m 1 f ur well wishers Dear. Hv Been Watching u 4 quite sumtime ….


M: Hmmm ..:) Interesting .. Neva Knew I hav fans in this college. Which branch?


A: I m into Civil Engg branch yar…U r so handsome..Bobby!!


M: Hey sweety .. tell me who u r….!!! don xcite me nymore..:))


A: No Yar.. nother time..nt nw. i ll feel Mbarassed…!! Bt I heard that u flunked the series test…?


M:-oH Dat's Usual NAA? Neva Bothers till It happens in University Xams . Marks ld be send home yar…


A: Oh That's Bad Naa? U manage wid all these things back Home…?


M:-Its so Easy Yar. Just Tell Dad that Evrythin is k.. He is damn Busy wid work n Moms Scoldings.


Leave all that yar.. Just tell me Who dis well wisher of mine is…..Eager to Meet U dear.. PLSSSS


A: No J I really feel shameful yar…!! I ll tell u later… Not Nw.. Pls


M:-No Sweet Heart .. I wanna kno… Pls……..yar … Treat AT Uncles Right Nw.. Pls


A: Oh … a TREAT? I really don want to to tell my name but still …..No yar .. later plss


M: Oh u R drivin me Crazy… Pls…. One show at Ragam Theatre … Please…. Tell ur divine name …!!


A :yar please… hmmm.. ok… sure that U do all thos u promised?


M: Promise….1000 times


A: MY name is Er. Varghese Thopil Cheriyan. Had done engg. At ur college some 25 yrs back.


M:What….?D…. D..DA…. DAD…..!! Is That U?


A: Yes... My Little Idiot.. N this is my New Number. And Now get back to studies instead of Hunting Girls … My little dumbo…!!!U think u are smart? Think Again dear. Ur Dad was smarter than u at college.  Pass the retest atleast .. n submit ur assignments at rite time. That's what I used To do…!!!


M: (Sheep-faced) Sorry DAD… i ll surely clear it nxt time. Dad U r a Master at the art of SMS-ing. Lucky that Mobiles were nt invented when u were in college.


A: Y so?


M: coz Mom wuldn have had any other Job other than Replying to ur shots…hihiihihi…. Thanx DAD for the chat…. Promise U … I ll clear it nxt time ..!!!


A: Ho ho … hi hi… Don worry my boy ... I know U ll do it …. Just Keep Trying… I meant .. Studies….N for Gods SAKE save my No. So that U dont get caught Red Handed Next Time.... !!! Take Care Dear Son


M: -Love U DAD… u TOO tc.


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Superub letter arrangements

This has got to be one of the clever e -mails I've received in a while. Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:


  When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:



When you rearrange the letters:



Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Does She Love You?

Have a question? Need some advice? Ignored by everyone else? Send The Morning News staff your questions via email. The Non-Expert handles all subjects and is updated on Fridays, and is written by a member of The Morning News staff.

* * *

Question: How do I know if a girl loves me or not? —Ajay

Answer: If one night you go out drinking and end up back at her place, pass out together on the bed with your shoes on, and wake up a few hours later only to discover that you’ve peed the bed, which she takes in stride, changes the sheets, and then the next morning has a laugh about it, later leaves some pamphlets from the local health clinic about child bedwetters in your mailbox, and eventually after a few weeks tells your friends but never, ever tells hers: She loves you.

If she knows what song is coming next on the mix CD you made her: She loves you.

If she hides your shoes when you’re late for work, and from a supine position on the couch plays “Hot/Cold,” and, finally, after 15 minutes of you ignoring her screaming, “Boiling! Burning up!” every time you stalk angrily by the dishwasher, gets up, flips it open to reveal the shoes, sitting there among the plates, and hands them over with a kiss and a giggle, and then laughs some more as you tie your laces in a silent rage: She loves you.

If she calls you at work that day to ask, “How are those shoes working out?”: She loves you.

If when you get home you try to hide something of hers, she finds it immediately, shaking her head, and when she pulls whatever it is—oven mitts or stretch pants—from behind the couch, she looks at you and without any attempt to hide her pity, says, “I love you”: She loves you.

If you’re Gael Garcia Bernal: She loves you.

If you’re not Gael Garcia Bernal, but you’re willing to sit through a “GGB” marathon and agree for 10 consecutive hours that he is indeed the most beautiful and talented man alive—and so down-to-earth, too!—and afterward agree that his portrayal of Che Guevara would have earned an Oscar nod were it not for the implicit politics, agree that taking Spanish classes is a great idea, or salsa, or tango, whatever, agree, agree, agree, and that night lying in bed after sex that ends with her screaming, “Si! Si!” wonder aloud, “But you’re happy with me, right?”: She loves you, man—no one can compete with that Latin bastard. Forget about it.

If she puts up with an entire Stars of the Lid album on a long-distance road trip: She loves you.

If she dances with your friends: She loves you.

If at Halloween you’re invited to a TV- and movie-themed party and she dresses up as Winnie Cooper and you dress up as Paul Pfeiffer, mainly because you already have the glasses, and at the party some guy who’s a dead ringer for Fred Savage saunters up, peels off his mole, and says, “Get lost, Paul, Winnie’s mine,” and you’re left standing there while the two of them go off dancing to the soundtrack from Forrest Gump, and when two hours later she finds you sitting by the punch bowl explaining for the umpteenth time that, no, you’re not supposed to be Woody Allen, she holds up a tie stolen from a passed-out Alex P. Keaton to her petticoat and redubs herself Annie Hall, and you Alvy Singer: She loves you. And, to be honest, I sort of love you, too.

If she’s a zombie: She loves you, but only for your brains.

If she says, “I love you” on the roller coaster, right after you’ve puked down your shirt: She loves you.

If you go to a karaoke bar with friends and do a duet of “Endless Love,” and she insists on doing the Lionel Richie part if only so she can really belt out a big “Ooh whoa” near the end, and when you’re done she announces you to the crowd as “Miss Diana Ross, everybody,” and then gives you a high-five: She loves you.

If she plays pointedly with strangers’ babies at the park, intermittently looking over to you with an expression that says, “See?”: She loves you.

If her parents love you: She loves you, probably.

If her parents hate you: She might love you, too.

If she’s the youngest of four sisters, two of whom are lesbians, the third a nun, and the first time you meet her father he pulls you away from his wife’s gingersnaps and homemade iced tea to check out the vintage “titty mags” he keeps hidden underneath a bench in the six-by-four corner of the basement he calls his workshop, the only place in the house not painted lavender and decorated with images of kittens and/or sunflowers, and every few pages he points out a particularly luxuriant pubis, and when you concur—“Sweet”—he smacks you heartily on the back and before you know it he’s calling you “Son” and have you ever fished for pike up north? Because he’s got a cabin. What of this? Well, her dad sure as hell loves you. Welcome to the family!

If she ever says the words, “I hate you”: She loves you. Or she did at one point, anyway.

If she loves you, if she really loves you, you’ll know it. If you can wake up to her staring at you and it’s not even mildly creepy, if you catch her smelling the shoulder of the hooded sweatshirt you lent her for an autumn walk at the beach, and not for B.O., if she makes you a pancake in the shape of a shark, if she calls you drunkenly at four in the morning “to talk,” if she laughs at your jokes when they’re funny and makes fun of you when they’re not, if she keeps her fridge stocked with Guinness tallboys for when you come over, if she tells you how she wishes she were closer to her sister and that her dad makes her sad: She loves you, of course she loves you.

And with a love like that, you know you should be glad.

—Published September 23, 2005

Global financial crisis and its impact... cartoon

Looks familiar? :D

Mumbai BLAST! lone surviving terrorist - Qasab's full confession

Qasab's full confession

Statement of accused Mohd Ajmal Amir Qasab; Age 21 yrs. Occupation: Labour, R/O - Faridkot, Tehsil -Dipalpur, Dist -Ukada, State -Suba Punjab, Pakistan

I am as above and reside at the above given address since my birth. I have studied up to 4th standard from Government Primary School.

After leaving school in 2000, I went to Lahore. My brother Afzal stays at galli No. 54, R.No. 12, Mohalla Tohit Abad, near Yadgar Minar, Lahore. I did labour jobs at different places till 2005. During that period I used to visit my native place. In the year 2005, I had a quarrel with my father. Therefore, I left my house and went to Ali Hajveri Darbar at Lahore.

At the said place, the boys who had run away from their houses are kept. From there, the boys are sent to different places for employment. One day when I was there, a person by name Shafiq came there and took me with him. He was in the catering business. He was from Zhelam. I started working with him on daily wages. I was given Rs 120 per day. After some days my salary was increased up to Rs 200 per day. I worked with him till 2007.

While I was working with Shafiq, I came in contact with one Muzaffar Lal Khan, aged 22 years, r/o Village -Romiya, Tehsil & Dist -Atak, State -Sarhad, Pakistan. As we were not getting enough money, we decided to carry out robbery / dacoity at some place so that we will get a large amount. As such we left the job.
Thereafter we went to Rawalpindi. We hired a flat at Bangash Colony, Rawalpindi, and started residing in it. Afzal had located a house where he thought we would get a large amount.

He had surveyed the said place and drawn a map of the said place. We required some fire-arms for our purpose. Afzal told me that he could get some fire-arms at his native place, but it was very risky, as there was frequent checking at his native place.

While we were in search of fire-arms we saw some LeT stalls at Raja bazaar, Rawalpindi, on the day of Bakri-id. We thought that, even if we procured fire-arms, we could not operate them. Therefore, we decided to join LeT for weapon training.

After making enquiries we reached LeT office. In the LeT office we met a person. We told him that we wanted to join LeT. He made some enquiry with us, noted our names and address and told us to come on next day.
On the next day, we went to LeT office and met the same man. One more person was present with him.

He gave us Rs 200 and some receipt. Then he gave us the address of a place called Marqas Taiyyaaba, Muridke, and told us to go to the said place where LeT is having their training camp. As directed, we went to the said place by bus. We showed the receipt given to us at the gate of the camp. We were allowed inside. At the entry gate, our details were filled up on two forms. Then we were taken to the actual camp area. At the said place, initially we were selected for 21 days training called Daura-Sufa. From the next day, we started attending training. The daily programme was as mentioned below.
Wake up call and thereafter namaz
Lecture on Hadis and Quran by Mufti Sayyed
Lunch Break
PT and Game Instructor Fadulla
Namaz and other work

After completion of the above said training, we were selected for another training called Daura-Ama. The said training was also for 21 days. We were then taken in a vehicle to a place called Mansera, Buttal Village. At the said place, we were given training of all weapons for 21 days. The daily programme was as mentioned below.
04.15 - 05.00:
Wake up call and thereafter namaz
PT Instructor abu Anas
Weapons training. Trainer Abdul Rehman, Weapons AK-47, Green-O, SKS, Uzi gun, pistol, revolver
Lunch break
Namaz and other work

After completing the said training, we were told that, we will be given the next advance training, but for that purpose we have to do some Khidmat for two months (Khidmat is a sort of service in the said camp as per the trainees' liking). We agreed to do the Khidmat for two months.

After two months, I was allowed to go to meet my parents. I stayed with my parents for one month. Thereafter, I went to LeT camp situated at Shaiwainala, Muzzafarabad, for further advanced training. At that place, they took my photographs and filled up some forms. Then we were taken to Chelabandi pahadi area for training called Duara-khas. The said training was for 3 months. The training included PT, handling of all weapons and firing practice of the said weapons, training of handling of hand grenade, rocket launchers and mortars. The daily programme was as mentioned below.

Wake up call and thereafter namaz
PT Instructor Abu Mawiya
Weapons training handling of all weapons and firing practices of the said weapons, training of handling of hand grenade, rocket launchers and mortars, Green-O, SKS, Uzi gun, pistol, revolver, Hand grenade, rocket launchers. Trainer Abu Mawiya
Lunch Break
Weapon training and firing practice. Lecture on Indian security agencies
Namaz and other work

At the said place 32 persons were present for training.
Out of these 32 trainees, 16 were selected for some confidential operation by one Zaqi-ur-Rehman Chacha. Out of these 16 trainees 3 trainees ran away from the camp. The above said chacha then sent the remaining 13 of us along with a person called Kafa to the above said earlier camp at Muridke. At Muridke, we were taught swimming and getting acquainted with the environment experienced by a fisherman on a sea.

We did some experimental tours by launches on the sea. During the said training, we were given lectures on working of Indian security agencies. We were shown the clippings highlighting the atrocities on Muslims in India.
After completing the said training, we were allowed to go to our native places. For seven days, I stayed with my family members. After seven days I went to the LeT camp at Muzzafarabad.

The above said 13 of us were present for training. Thereafter, as per the instructions of Zaki-ur-Rehman, the above said Kafa took us to camp at Muridke. At the said camp again we underwent the training of swimming and getting acquainted with the environment and experience on sea. The training continued for one month.

During the said training, we were given the lectures on India and its security agencies, including RAW. We were also given the training on how to evade the chase by security personnel. We were strictly instructed not to make phone calls to Pakistan after reaching India.

The names of the persons present for the said training are as mentioned below.
Mohd Azmal aka Abu Muzahid
Ismail aka Abu Umar
Abu Ali
Abu Aksha
Abu Umer
Abu Shoeb
Abdul Rehman (Bada)
Abdul Rehman (Chhota)
Abu Umar

After completion of training, Zaki-ur-Rehman aka Chacha selected 10 of us and formed 5 teams each having two persons on 15 Sept 2008. My team included myself and Ismail. Our code name was VTS team. We were then shown the site 'Google Earth' on Internet. On the same site, we were shown the information about Azad Maidan, Mumbai, how and where to get down at Mumbai. We were shown the film on VT railway station and the film showing the commuters moving around at rush hours at VT railway station.

We were instructed to carry out the firing at rush hours in the morning between 7 to 11 hours and between 7 to 11 hours in the evening. Then kidnap some persons, take them to the roof of some nearby building. After reaching at the roof top, we were to contact chacha. After that, chacha would give the telephone or mobile no of electronic media. We were then to contact the media persons on the same phone. And as per the instructions received from chacha, we would make demands for releasing the hostages. This was the general strategy decided by our trainers.

The date fixed for the said operation was 27th Sept 2008. However, the operation was cancelled for some reason. We stayed at Karachi. Again we made practice of travelling by speed boats on the sea. We stayed there upto 23rd Nov 2008. The other teams were as mentioned below.

2nd Team
1) Abu Aksha
2) Abu Umar

3rd Team
1) Bada Abdul Rehman
2) Abu Ali

4th Team
1) Chhota Abdul Rehman
2) Afadulla

5th Team
1) Shoeb
2) Abu Umer

On 23rd Nov 2008, the above said teams including our team left from Azizabad, Karachi along with Zaki-ur-Rehman aka Chacha and Kafa. We were taken to the nearby sea shore. At 04.15 hours we reached the sea shore. At the sea shore we boarded a launch. After traveling for 22 to 25 nautical miles we met a bigger launch in the sea. We boarded the said launch and after journey of 1 hour we boarded a bigger ship by name Al-Huseini in the deep sea. While boarding the said ship, each of us was given a sack containing 8 grenades, one AK-47 rifle, 200 cartridges, 2 magazines and one cell phone for communication.

Then we started towards Indian coast. When we reached Indian waters, the crew members of Al-Huseini ship hijacked one Indian launch. The seamen from the said launch were shifted to Al-Huseini ship. We were then boarded the hijacked Indian ship. One Indian seaman was kept along with us.

At the gun point, he took us towards the Indian coast. After journey of about 3 days, we reached near sea shore of Mumbai. While we were at some distance from the shore, Ismail and Afadulla killed the Indian seaman, (Tandel) at the basement of the said Indian launch. Then we boarded floatable dinghi and reached Budwar Park Jetty as per the instructions received earlier.

After getting down at Budwar Park, I went along with Ismail to VT railway stn by taxi.
After reaching the hall of VT railway stn. We, i.e. Ismail and myself, went to the common toilet, took out the weapons from our sacks, loaded them, came out of toilet and started firing indiscriminately towards the passengers.

Suddenly one police officer in uniform came towards us and opened fire. In retaliation, we threw hand grenades towards him and also opened fire towards him. Then we went inside the railway stn threatening the commuters and randomly firing at them.

Then we came out of the railway stn and started searching for a building with roof top. But we did not find a suitable building. Therefore, we entered a lane. Then we entered a building and went upstarts. On 3rd or 4th floor we searched for hostages but we found that the said building was a hospital and not a residential building. Therefore we started coming down.

At that time policemen started firing at us. As such we threw some grenades towards them. When we were coming out of the hospital premises, we suddenly saw one police vehicle passing in front of us. Therefore, we took shelter behind a bush.

Another vehicle passed in front of us and stopped at some distance. One police officer got down from the said vehicle and started firing at us. One bullet hit my hand and my AK-47 dropped down. I bent to pick it up when second bullet hit me on the same hand. I got injured. Ismail opened fire at the officers who were in said vehicle. They got injured and firing from their side stopped.

We waited for some time and then went towards the said vehicle. Three bodies lying there. Ismail removed the three bodies and drove the said vehicle. I sat next to him. While we were moving in the said vehicle, some police men tried to stop us. Ismail opened fire towards them while we were on the move; our vehicle got punctured near a big ground by the side of road. Ismail got down from the driver seat, stopped a car at the gun point and removed the three lady occupants from the said car. Then Ismail carried me to the car and sat me inside as I was injured. Then he drove the said car.

While we were moving in the said car, we were stopped on the road near sea shore. Ismail fired towards them. Some policemen got injured. Police also opened fire towards us. Due to the police firing Ismail got injured. Then police removed us to some hospital. In the hospital I came to know that Ismail succumbed to the injuries he has sustained.

My statement is read over to me, explained in Hindi and it is correctly recorded.

Washington Post ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST winners

ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST*Once again, The Washington Post has published the*winning submissions to its yearly contest,in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings*for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n) a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
3. Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n) Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n) The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6 . Inoculatte (v) To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n) Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n) A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n) It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10 .Decafalon (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things tha! t are good for you.
11. Glibido (v) All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:*Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an *******.

indian movie climax

Shahrukh ,the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball...............
Bowler bowls it and Shahruk
  glides it to 3rd man..............the ball goes to boundary line Shahruk runs for 3 runs, fielder throws at non-striker it misses the stumps and goes for over-throw,Shah Ruk runs again for 3 ,
this time fielder tactfully throws at Keepers end,
Keeper Misses it goes for a 4 runs. In the background Vande Mathram sings....
Shahruk WINS the match...................................

Cheeru ,the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball...............
Bowler bowls it and Cheeru hits with tremendous power..............the ball goes far away  and UMPIRES are forced to give 12 runs for that.
Cheeru WINS the match...................................

Rajni ,the batsman needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball...............
Bowler bowls it and Rajini hits with tremendous power..............the ball splits into "TWO"
1 half goes to SIX.....The other half goes to FOUR.............
Rajini WINS the match...................................

Sunday, December 14, 2008

The LAPD, the FBI, and the CIA

The LAPD, the FBI, and the CIA

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.
The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies.  The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay!  Okay! I'm a rabbit!  I'm a rabbit!

Things You'd Love To Say Out Loud At Work

Things You'd Love To Say Out Loud At Work

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh!t.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.

10. Ahhhh. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connections between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be?

24. Do I look like a f*cking people person to you?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. Oh I get it. Like humour, but different.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you really marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is finally done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

40. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

41. Aren't you a black hole of need.

42. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?

43. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?

44. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.

45. If you have something to say raise your hand, and place it over your mouth.

46. I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?

47. Don't let your mind wander, its too small to be let out on its own.

48. Have a nice day, some place else.

49. Your not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight off.

50. You really are as pretty as a picture, I'd like to hang you.

51. Don't believe everything you think.

52. Ssshh,   .     that's the sound of no one caring

WHY I AM A HINDU - for those who don't know

this is a mail forward i got...GOOD REASONING>.. as Gandhi said.. you have to listen to everyone and select what you think is truth...

Four years ago, I was flying from JFK NY Airport to SFO to attend a
meeting at Monterey, CA. An American girl was sitting on the right side,
near window seat. It indeed was a long journey - it would take nearly
seven hours. I was surprised to see the young girl reading a Bible
unusual of young Americans. 
After some time, she smiled and we had few acquaintances talk. I told
her that I am from India. 
Then suddenly the girl asked: 'What's your faith?' 
'What?' I didn't understand the question. 
'I mean, what's your religion? Are you a Christian? Or a Muslim?' 
'No!' I replied, 'I am neither Christian nor Muslim'. 
Apparently she appeared shocked to listen to that. 'Then who are you?'
'I am a Hindu', I said. 
She looked at me as if she was seeing a caged animal. She could not
understand what I was talking about. 
 A common man in Europe or US knows about Christianity and Islam, as they
are the leading religions of the world today. But a Hindu, what? 
I explained to her - I am born to a Hindu father and Hindu mother.
Therefore, I am a Hindu by birth. 
 'Who is your prophet?' she asked. 
'We don't have a prophet,' I replied. 
'What's your Holy Book?' 
'We don't have a single Holy Book, but we have hundreds and thousands
philosophical and sacred scriptures,' I replied. 
'Oh, come on at least tell me who is your God?' 
'What do you mean by that?' 
'Like we have Jesus and Muslims have Allah - don't you have a God?'
I thought for a moment. Muslims and Christians believe one God (Male
God) who created the world and takes an interest in the humans who
inhabit it. Her mind is conditioned with that kind of belief. 
According to her (or anybody who doesn't know about Hinduism), a
religion needs to have one Prophet, one Holy book and one God. The mind
is so conditioned and rigidly narrowed down to such a notion that
anything else is not acceptable. I understood her perception and concept
about faith. You can't compare Hinduism with any of the present leading
religions where you have to believe in one concept of god. 
I tried to explain to her: 'You can believe in one god and he can be a
Hindu. You may 
believe in multiple deities and still you can be a Hindu. What's more -
you may not 
believe in god at all, still you can be a Hindu. An atheist can also be
a Hindu.' 
This sounded very crazy to her. She couldn't imagine a religion so
unorganized, still 
surviving for thousands of years, even after onslaught from foreign
'I don't understand but it seems very interesting. Are you
What can I tell to this American girl? 
I said: 'I do not go to temple regularly. I do not make any regular
rituals. I have 
learned some of the rituals in my younger days. I still enjoy doing it
'Enjoy? Are you not afraid of God?' 
'God is a friend. No- I am not afraid of God. Nobody has made any
compulsions on me to perform these rituals regularly.' 
She thought for a while and then asked: 'Have you ever thought of
converting to any other religion?' 
'Why should I? Even if I challenge some of the rituals and faith in
Hinduism, nobody can convert me from Hinduism. Because, being a Hindu
allows me to think independently and objectively, without conditioning.
I remain as a Hindu never by force, but choice.' I told her that
Hinduism is not a religion, but a set of beliefs and practices. It is
not a religion like Christianity or Islam because it is not founded by
any one person or does not have an organized controlling body like the
Church or the Order, I added. There is no institution or authority. 
'So, you don't believe in God?' she wanted everything in black and
'I didn't say that. I do not discard the divine reality. Our scripture,
or Sruthis or 
Smrithis - Vedas and Upanishads or the Gita - say God might be there or
he might not be there. But we pray to that supreme abstract authority
(Para Brahma) that is the creator of this universe.' 
'Why can't you believe in one personal God?' 
'We have a concept - abstract - not a personal god. The concept or
notion of a personal God, hiding behind the clouds of secrecy, telling
us irrational stories through few men whom he sends as messengers,
demanding us to worship him or punish us, does not make sense. I don't
think that God is as silly as an autocratic emperor who wants others to
respect him or fear him.' I told her that such notions are just fancies
of less educated human imagination and fallacies, adding that generally
ethnic religious practitioners in Hinduism believe in personal gods. The
entry level Hinduism has over-whelming superstitions too. The
philosophical side of Hinduism negates all superstitions. 
'Good that you agree God might exist. You told that you pray. What is
your prayer then?' 
'Loka Samastha Sukino Bhavantu. Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti,' 
'Funny,' she laughed, 'What does it mean?' 
'May all the beings in all the worlds be happy. Om Peace, Peace,
'Hmm ...very interesting. I want to learn more about this religion. It
is so democratic, 
broad-minded and free' she exclaimed. 
'The fact is Hinduism is a religion of the individual, for the
individual and by the 
individual with its roots in the Vedas and the Bhagavad-Gita. It is all
about an 
individual approaching a personal God in an individual way according to
his temperament and inner evolution - it is as simple as that.' 
'How does anybody convert to Hinduism?' 
'Nobody can convert you to Hinduism, because it is not a religion, but a
set of beliefs 
and practices. Everything is acceptable in Hinduism because there is no
single authority or organization either to accept it or to reject it or
to oppose it on behalf of 
Hinduism.' I told her - if you look for meaning in life, don't look for
it in religions; don't go from one cult to another or from one guru to
the next. 
For a real seeker, I told her, the Bible itself gives guidelines when it
says ' Kingdom of 
God is within you.' I reminded her of Christ's teaching about the love
that we have for 
each other. That is where you can find the meaning of life.  Loving each
and every creation of the God is absolute and real. 'Isavasyam idam
Isam (the God) is present (inhabits) here everywhere - nothing exists
separate from the God, because God is present everywhere. Respect every
living being and non-living things as God. That's what Hinduism teaches
Hinduism is referred to as Sanathana Dharma, the eternal faith. It is
based on the 
practice of Dharma, the code of life. The most important aspect of
Hinduism is being 
truthful to oneself. Hinduism has no monopoly on ideas.  It is open to
all. Hindus believe in one God (not a personal one) expressed in
different forms. For them, God is timeless and formless entity. 
Ancestors of today's Hindus believe in eternal truths and cosmic laws
and these truths are opened to anyone who seeks them. But there is a
section of Hindus who are either 
superstitious or turned fanatic to make this an organized religion like
others. The 
British coin the word 'Hindu' and considered it as a religion. 
I said: 'Religions have become an MLM (multi-level- marketing) industry
that has been 
trying to expand the market share by conversion. The biggest business in
today's world is Spirituality. Hinduism is no exception'. 
I am a Hindu primarily because it professes Non-violence - 'Ahimsa
Paramo Dharma' - Non violence is the highest duty. I am a Hindu because
it doesn't condition my mind with any faith system. A man / woman who
change 's his / her birth religion to another religion is a fake and
does not value his / her morals, culture and values in life. Hinduism
was the first religion originated. 
 Be proud of your religion and be proud of who you are. 
Om Namo shiva............... 



Wednesday, December 10, 2008

One of the best IT interviews!!!....IT 4 INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY!!!

!!!!!!!!!!! One of the best IT interviews!! !........ ......... ......... .IT 4 INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY.. ......!!! !!!!!!!!

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication
engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had
never heard of this college before!
Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an
admission into it ..
What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in
12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college.
But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not
invest so much of money".(The baap actually said - "I
will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this
college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be
related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.
Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete
your engineering.
Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But
you know, these cricket matches and football
world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate.
So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took
4 + 2 = 7 years.
Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I
will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good,
thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think
they should ban it.
Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be
Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!
Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never
thought I would complete it. In fact, when i
flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus
corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.
Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower'
education itself was so much of pain!!
Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms
have you worked?
Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my
current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have
experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are the places in Mumbai)
Interviewer: And which languages have you used?
Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet
in German, French, Russian and many other languages.
Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a
higher version than VB. I heard very soon they
are coming up with a new language VD!
Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the
language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.
Interviewer: What is your general project experience?
Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of th! e
times they are in pipeline!
Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd.
Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining
BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.
Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know
Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to
dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And
very important - I know few words like -
'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes',
'SEI-CMM','quality' ,'versioncontrol ','deadlines' , 'Customer
Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!
Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?
Candidate: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not
        have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear
        t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so
        as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term
        preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer
US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is Olympics coming up in
China in the current year, I don't mind
going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't
have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?
Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our
organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before.
Welcome to INFOSYS.
The fellow was appointed in a newly created section 'Stress Management' in the HRD of Infosys.
Dont knw how far  its true though ;)

Moral seems to be true.. pv narasimha rao


Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were
travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of
them died.
Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.

He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN.

But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Laloo is not at all happy with this decision.

He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of
them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public
positions, etc.

Then why the differential treatment?

He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before
a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceived

Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English

PVNR is asked to spell " INDIA " and he does it correctly.

Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND " and he too passes.

It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA ".

Laloo protests that he doesn't know English.

He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus
forced to fail with false intent.

Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance
assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal
platform for all three).

PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily and

Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.

Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR.... ."
Tough one. He fails again.

Laloo is extremely unhappy.

Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't),he now
requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history

Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take
any more tests.

PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence ?". He replied "1947" and

Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?".

He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000
or 300,000.
Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.

It's Laloo's turn now.

Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died
in the struggle.
Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.